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Archive for December, 2012

Online Infidelity: Finding New Friends on Adult Social Networks and Emotional Cheating

Friday, December 28th, 2012

The advent of social media and user friendly communication technology has made it increasingly easy to connect instantaneously and always be finding new friends. Unfortunately they can make it more likely for friendships to turn into flirtations and flirtations into full blown affairs. Here are 10 signs that your online friendship could be turning into an emotional affair or emotional cheating.

Ask these questions: is your communication flirtatious? Are you sending any photos of yourself? Are you hiding or deleting texts emails or Facebook messages sent by your web buddy? Have you lied to your committed partner about any aspects (number of texts, mails, content of communication, kinds of words used of your online friend’s communications).

It is also necessary to consider if you have created an e-mail account just for your internet friendship without your committed partner’s knowing. Are you constantly checking in order to see if your friend has made contact with you? Do you feeldown when you haven’t heard from your web fellowship for a while? Also, after a long silence from your online buddy, do you worry or maybe obsess about whether your last correspondence wasok or whether it wastaken the wrong way?

Do you find yourself becoming cold toward your committed partner? Online friendships can be something more if you’re picturing your online friendship while making love to your committed partner. Is your communication becoming more sexual? Consistently wondering what it might be like to be in a committed relationship with your web closeness falls into this situation as well. Have you shared details about your committed relationship with your internet fellowship?

According to current statistical data, adult social networks like Facebook, as well as texting, have been cited in a big number of divorce cases suggesting the danger to the most important committed relationship is real. If you answered yes to any one of these questions you could need to stop and think about where your web friendship is taking your committed relationship.

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Alcohol Addiction Help during the Holidays: Attending an Addiction Support Group, Seeing an Addiction Therapist

Friday, December 21st, 2012

The holidays are a special time of year when people take time to focus on others, give thanks for what they have, and give to those in need. While it is easy to get caught up in the holiday festivities those in recovery from addiction understand the importance of self-care. Developing a holiday recovery plan will help individuals avoid relapse by ensuring recovery activities are scheduled into each day.
A holiday recovery plan is all about dealing with additional stress, balancing the extra activities involved with the holidays, and managing ‘high risk’ situations. The first step in any good holiday recovery plan would be to check the calendar for upcoming events. Make sure high-risk situations like family gatherings or office parties are limited both in number and time spent participating. Likewise schedule more recovery activities such as AA or NA group meetings, exercising, meditating, or professional counseling sessions.
Even the best-laid plans are not perfect so urges to use are normal. Family, memories, parties, finances, crowds, and even the additional commercials advertising alcohol may trigger urges to use. When managing urges, it is important for individuals to remember how easily inappropriate reactions to high-risk situations can turn into a relapse. Completing a daily inventory at the end of each day can help you stay on track. Reflecting each evening on thoughts, feelings, urges, reactions, and actions can help you gain awareness, knowledge, and skills needed for a continued successful recovery. Even evaluating the triggers that lead to past holiday relapses can provide valuable information about navigating this year’s holiday calendar.
Those with addiction can successfully navigate the holidays by starting with a holiday recovery plan. By carefully planning recovery activities, reducing high-risk situations, and being mindful of ‘what works’ you can have a relapse-fee holiday!

 

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Defining Infidelity in Pop Culture

Friday, December 14th, 2012

Infidelity is often defined as a betrayal of trust. More specifically; it is a sexual or emotional betrayal of trust within a committed relationship. For women, the thought of great sex usually involves a scenario in which there is flirtation, romance, and foreplay. Men, on the other hand, usually imagine great sex as the time when there were interesting positions or long duration. These facts are well known in the publishing industry which has responded readily with such visual magazines as Playboy and books that are more story and plot-based like Harlequin Romances and 50 Shades of Grey.

But does simply reading stories about people having romantic sex or looking at pictures of the sex act qualify as infidelity? We know that infidelity involves some core conditions. For example:

  • You are keeping a relationship a secret from your partner.
  • There is a sexual chemistry between you and a friend. You notice you become aroused when you see, interact with, or think of your friend.
  • You become less aroused by your committed partner, or, you picture your friend when you are having sex with your partner.

So although you are reading and not interacting with a person, your partner may feel betrayed if the core conditions are being met. For instance:

  • You may have no problem describing your reading material to your partner (or you may even share the material with your partner) but you find you resist telling your partner the exact amount of time you spend engaged in the activity.
  • If your reading results in increased sexual arousal that leads to masturbation you may find you seek the material out more often leading to less frequent and/or less satisfying sex with your partner.

If your partner notices he or she is competing for your attention and affection, or it is discovered you are keeping the reading a secret, then feelings of betrayal and infidelity may result.

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